Tears and Fears about 1/2 Marathon

So it is soon upon me that I will be running my first 1/2 Marathon. I feel completely unprepared and terrified! I feel like I am no where near ready and I feel sick to my stomach when I think about it.

So much has lead up to this point and I feel so overwhelmed at times. When the workouts are hard and I have a bad day I question whether or not I am going to be able to run a full marathon. I question myself and my courage. I question if I have set my goals too high. I get scared.

Then I remember the courage that my son showed everyday of his very short life. I remember the courageous face I had to put on every time I walked into that hospital. I remember holding back tears so that my son would never see me cry. I remember never showing how scared I was, and I was scared, very scared.

Then I remember why I started all this, to just remember and honor my little boy! I'm scared I will be honest with you there. But I will do it and I will finish and then I will work toward the next race and the next one until I find myself in Chicago with thousands of others running for their own causes and memories. Running for their own healing or soul searching, running to run.

I have so much love and support from all of you that at times that is enough to get me out of bed and on the road. But some days are easier than others, some days I just want to "give up".

But Johnathon never gave up, he fought to the very end, he never gave up, he just had to let go.

On Saturday I will be introduced at the Dismal Swamp Stomp and my story told of why I am running.

Please try to join me there for this big day, and if not please pray for me to have the strength and courage to complete this race.

My story was published on the Dismal Swamp Stomp press page here is the link.

http://www.dismalswampstomp.kalerunning.com/press_releases.html